Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in arshus_ney's LiveJournal:

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Friday, November 5th, 2004
12:44 am	final post this journal has outlived its usefulness. i will leave you with these parting words. No words can sting like yours can No fire can singe like yours. No pain can overshadow mine The pain that you have caused. I fooled myself to care I let my walls come down In hopes that someday you would see I would always be around. Yet in my foolish musings I broke my cardinal rule I cared too much Too soon Too fast And let my ownself down. When I awaken in the morning Nightmares still ringing in my head Not the dreams that make me happy (the ones in which I'm dead) I remember in the end The only one left to rely on is me. All alone in a massive bed. Current Mood: remembering why i exist (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 4th, 2004
1:38 pm	allright heres the plan i want a house meeting. i want to talk to each of house members, and may-as-well be-house members individually... cuz basically after some serious deliberation ive come up with a few plans of action...and i want a few more peoples input... yes, i am trying to be extremely calm about this. though it is taking every fiber and ounce of strength to do so. however. this is something that needs to be addressed, and this is something that i need to do. i can no longer let anyone take advantage of me, and that is whats happening. no more than i can let my father do it, and no one has that right. this is hurting me so deeply, because i have always strived to not hurt or offend or upset anyone. but i need to grow a backbone, and stick up for myself when im being trampled on. so please let me know when you each have some spare time, and when you are going to be around. because this needs to happen. and the only way to do it, is to make and find the time. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
11:28 am	stupid back stabbers i love how everyone agrees with me one minute, and the next minute people are attacking me. i guess i can see now who really is honest, and who really is going to be there for me. the only people who havent deeply hurt me out of my supposed friends in the last 24 hours are meg and james. period. so yes, thanks, its so great to know that you will only agree with me until the shit hits the fan. thanks...this just proves to me that i should go. i dont need this kinda bullshit. period. i may give it as long as january...perhaps. maybe i should just leave now. sorry meg and james, but seriously, i cant put up with it any longer. im sure tiff or chris would love my room. im looking for somewhere new starting now. i knew before that i couldnt realy count on anyone, and this just reinforces that belief. i wont live in a house where i feel like shit, and a house that because of one bitch, my "friends" begin ganging up on me...yeah, i dont need that. so yeah, im going to start packing my shit up in the next week or so, and ill be out of all of your lives for good. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 30th, 2004
6:27 pm	my tattoo (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 29th, 2004
10:05 pm	one more quiz Guys Like That You're Charming You're the girl most guys can't get out of their heads Even if they met you on a bad hair day :-) You just seem to "click" with everyone you meet So even if a guy forgets about you for a second... his friends haven't! What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
6:51 pm	mmm yummy dragon Your a wind Dragon! Hey, you, the smartest dragon of the branch. You love reading and writing, but are quite shy. Your IQ is probably sky-high and your stories can win trophies. Your not very good in sports, or maybe you are, and just not inrested.. You are very wise, smart, and kind. What elemental dragon are you? brought to you by Quizilla Current Mood: working and i want to go home Current Music: you will get your way, when you hypnotize with those eyes (2 Comments |Comment on this)
4:23 pm	survey please fill out answers and post to your lj : ) 1- Whats your middle name? Catherine 2-Whats your astro sign? Gemini 3-Whats your lucky number? 3, 72 4-Windows or Mac? uhh...no comment *hides* 5-Whats your favorite color? blue 6-Are you in love? i dunno... 7-Are you a student? yes 8-Do you have a job? and what is it? yes, i work at the laundromat 9-Are you happy? ha...hahaha no 10-What song is stuck in your head right now? when im 64 by the beatles 11-What are three things about you that make you interesting? umm...i write poetry, i think im pretty smart, and i dont back down when it comes to the love for my friends 12-What is your biggest fear? bees.....well...that and being alone 13- What is your secret dream? if i told you it wouldnt be a secret...maybe to never be lonely again...meh 14-What do you want to do with your life? help people 15-Do you want children? yes 16-What are 3 things that make the person you got this quiz from cool? they are shiny, and pretty sweet, and they like video games ^_^ 17-Is there a secret you want to tell someone and cant? ummm....yes...yes there is...but you didnt hear it from me : P 18-Do you feel loved? not very often 19-Whats the worst thing youve done while drunk? ummm...threw up? 20-If you could would you go back in time and change something? If yes, what? i dont think i would...cuz if i did i wouldnt be around my friends today...sigh Current Mood: confused Current Music: got a secret its time for me 2 tell whos been keepin me warm (Comment on this)
1:13 pm	hmm i wanted to post that people should listen to a couple songs : ) bwitched : our day someday darling violetta : spoiled and rotten junkster : the only one alisha's attic : i am i feel okies...off to work LATER! Current Mood: blah Current Music: my superman - bwitched (Comment on this)
Monday, October 25th, 2004
8:15 pm	quiz results from emode Steady Supporter Stand by your man — that's just something you naturally do. Once you've committed to a relationship, you are a constant companion who enjoys the comfort and stability that comes from being a couple. Not quick to judge, accuse, or think the worst, you have a lot of trust (in him and in yourself), and you rarely worry about where he is or who he's with. For you, mutual respect is of utmost importance. You are comfortable and confident in your own skin, making you a great pillar of strength in all your relationships. Whether he's striving to climb a mountain or land a promotion, you have his back. Best part is, you know he's got yours too. this is apparently what kind of girlfriend i am...lol the funny part is, cept for the line bout me having confidence in myself...i think its pretty damn accurate...and the part about knowing he has my back...gah isnt that what i was just whining about in my other journal? sigh... i hate this world so very much. Current Mood: crappy Current Music: i have been a fool for lesser things (Comment on this)
6:14 pm	a quiz You have been hurt. By someone who you never expected to be hurt by. You lost their love, and because of that, you have no life left. You like sad, deep things, and quiet places you can cry by yourself. You think sometimes of letting it go. But then you ask youself why. *The question is not why, it's why NOT.* What Type of Vampire Are You? (pics) brought to you by Quizilla (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2004
11:21 pm	quizzes...sorry its been a while ^_~ Your inner power is Telaleqi. You have the ability to read peoples minds, understand peoples emotions and read them, you can always tell how people are feeling, and you can have conversations with people in your mind. You tend to be mooddy and a little tempermental, but that's not your fault... What is your special power? (anime pics for girls!) brought to you by Quizilla You are innocent love. You long for someone to spend your days with, most of all a best friend. You do not want to rush things, and you like marks of affection that are "cute". What kind of love are you? brought to you by Quizilla I post weird poetic stuff no one understands why is YOUR livejournal annoying? brought to you by Quizilla You are Aura. You are calm, passive, intelligent, and TO DAMN SKINNY! EAT SOMETHING! you are the person to quietly ponder in the background while everyone else is fighting for their lives. You do not like to utilize your powers often, making you the weakest and most vulnerable one out of the group. However, you are extremely compassionate, and kind, so you eventually gain friendships of those who the world has left rejected...You have control over the wind, and you can teleport and douse with a pendant If you had a personality disorder, it would be Avoidance, and Anorexia Nervousa (EAT SOMETHING!) Overall, you are a very caring person, don't ever change If you were a story character, what would your personality be like? brought to you by Quizilla Spike. Who's your male Buffy soul mate? brought to you by Quizilla Current Mood: lonely Current Music: hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption (Comment on this)
4:05 pm	hahahaha apparently it is inappropriate to buy a banana and two cucumbers at wilson farms.....hahahahahahaha cuz thats what i bought. then catherine laughed at me cuz i was eating my cucumber, and then i brought my banana and cucumber #2 home....lol...also some sunflower seeds...hehe hey though, i bought a massive amount of food for 2 bucks. i need to do my school work, cuz i basically am on call for alex tonight if he cant make it or something...gah. dont want to be back there. have to be back there at 730 am. eww might not sleep tonight, do homework, work tomorrow and go to bed after i get home around 430-5 tomorrow. hmm...tasty. i should really go to rite aide and buy some gauze and some peroxide...cuz yeah papertowel and packing tape aint cutting it...(haha funny pun) i need a cancer stick...cyall laterz ^_^ Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: are you taking me home? dont tell me you have to go... (Comment on this)
9:02 am	the butcher slices the day up like a pig, brutally chopping its bloody flesh damn me. i suck. -fall forever- i could just rest my life with you falling to pieces is nothing new you make me smile through endless tears the strength to erase all of my fears. im dreaming so don't wake me wherever this road takes me i know that nothing will be severed and i could just fall forever. you break my habits with a touch prescence that exudes so much im diving through an endless spire full of love hope and desire you wouldnt have to be so clever cause i could just fall forever. and in the greyness of the years the shadows of doubt will not appear im holding you under wings like truth of the soul i long to sing throughout this worlds endeavors i could just fall forever... i could just fall forever. Current Mood: drained Current Music: i found a reason to show a side of me you didnt know (Comment on this)
Friday, October 22nd, 2004
8:17 pm	sigh -this distance- this distance i feel grows with each breath once held once safe gone for longer than death. im broken im fragile im falling dear god so save me and catch me and help me go on. i feeling this gap through souls once entwined sleeping and tossing you race through my mind. im grasping at ropes a hands length away drowning suffocating melting away. i love you its simple i thought it was anyways im hoping that someway youll agree anyway. embers glow and time stands still im just a memory brought to life by you. Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
7:03 pm	that dont impress me much.... so things are back on the up and up again, at least for my end of things. communication is good, and now i am seeing the reprecussions of what happens when bridges of communication break down. no more. my grandmother woke up and is now home. ^_^ i accomplished a near impossible feat today...lets just say i managed to get to victor, and now im home, and yeah....hehehehehe im too cool for words about that one ^_^ thank you stephen you saved my life...literally i almost passed out in sign today, apparently my teacher asked me to leave the room cuz he thought i was dying, and some guy walked me to a bench...hmm...i dont really remember that part.... between that and hachee asking me out for coffee to talk some more, cuz im so "intriguing" im bout ready to die...hahaha my professor has a thing for me...gah i gotta go...need to be social. laterz Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: you say....stay (Comment on this)
12:02 pm	attention I NEED TO GET TO EASTVIEW TONIGHT IT IS A MATTER OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE PLEASE PLEASE HELP if you need details on why, call me as im not posting the reason on here. ^_^ my philosophy teacher asked me out for coffee...hmm...im creeped out. meg, your comic inspired me to make the main character in my diner story a vampire. thank you for the much needed inspiration. HUGS seriously tho, please someone do me the car favor, im begging you with everything ive got.....*puppy dog eyes* pweeze??????????????? Current Mood: giddy Current Music: you said i was naive, but i thought that i was strong (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:13 am	side note.... look. seriously. i am sick of shit. but there are a few things that need to be stated that were amusing, or happy today. -i made a sign that said beware of bubbles...due to the soap abomination that materialized at the laundromat. -i can do high kicks again!!!!!! WHEEEEE -i made progress on my scrap book -i changed my creative writing story theme again...and this time its going to be yummier -meg bought me baby body wash and lotion scented like lavender -i got to hang out with meg at jays and eat food...wheee : ) -ive become reinspired to write...its not a chore anymore -i decided that everything ive lived up till now was just pretend. and that the only thing real is right now...which is kinda sad, but at the same time makes me feel like i have a fresh start. -apparently my intentions are blantently obvious to everyone cept me...haha (ya know...this isnt necessarily happy...just an observation) random quotes : "when i fall in love, i take my time, theres no need to hurry, im not making up my mind, you can turn off the sun, but im still gonna shine" -jason mraz "tell me lies, slap me on the face, just improvise do something really clever, that will make me your name forever" - shakira ok...im done for the night here...you need me...well..i dont know if i care to talk to many people...hmmm meg, james, chris, eugene, jen, steph...thats about it...kk? night all Current Mood: going to bed pissed off sucks Current Music: hole in my soul- aerosmith (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 21st, 2004
10:39 pm	kick ass survey from starfate : ) 1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on): amber goodman 2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name): slim jim sam (hahahahahaha) 3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant): All Jays 4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot): garlic canada 5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied): Cakes Rochester 6. "FLY Girl" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name): J Du 7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen): Oreo Puckerz 8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School): Pup Brighton 9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink): Oreo Smirnoff 10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived): Catherine Allens-Creek 11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician): Mallowcreme Kweller Current Mood: amused Current Music: dont waste your time on me.... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
9:29 pm	( long ass survey stolen from steph ) Current Mood: mischievous Current Music: i cant remember what was said or what you threw at me (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
9:06 pm	i wanna be sedated...nothing to do nowehere to go.... i made a spiffy cd...and it has all my happy songs on it : ) im wearing the nightgown from victoria secrets thats all silky and yummy..and mmeeep : ) all around your island theres a barracade, that keeps out the danger, and holds in the pain- tom petty "walls" sigh...i gotta write that stupid paper...have fun loyal readers HUGSHUGSHUGS Current Mood: drained Current Music: hands clean- alanis morissette (Comment on this)