Running On Empty

final post

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 05:51:08 GMT

this journal has outlived its usefulness.
i will leave you with these parting words.

No words can sting like yours can
No fire can singe like yours.
No pain can overshadow mine
The pain that you have caused.
I fooled myself to care
I let my walls come down
In hopes that someday you would see
I would always be around.
Yet in my foolish musings
I broke my cardinal rule
I cared too much
Too soon
Too fast
And let my ownself down.
When I awaken in the morning
Nightmares still ringing in my head
Not the dreams that make me happy
(the ones in which I'm dead)
I remember in the end
The only one left to rely on is me.
All alone in a massive bed.

allright heres the plan

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 18:52:45 GMT

i want a house meeting.
i want to talk to each of house members, and may-as-well be-house members individually...
cuz basically after some serious deliberation ive come up with a few plans of action...and i want a few more peoples input...
yes, i am trying to be extremely calm about this. though it is taking every fiber and ounce of strength to do so.
however. this is something that needs to be addressed, and this is something that i need to do.
i can no longer let anyone take advantage of me, and that is whats happening. no more than i can let my father do it, and no one has that right.
this is hurting me so deeply, because i have always strived to not hurt or offend or upset anyone. but i need to grow a backbone, and stick up for myself when im being trampled on.
so please let me know when you each have some spare time, and when you are going to be around. because this needs to happen. and the only way to do it, is to make and find the time.

stupid back stabbers

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 16:33:27 GMT

i love how everyone agrees with me one minute, and the next minute people are attacking me.
i guess i can see now who really is honest, and who really is going to be there for me.
the only people who havent deeply hurt me out of my supposed friends in the last 24 hours are meg and james.
period.
so yes, thanks, its so great to know that you will only agree with me until the shit hits the fan. thanks...this just proves to me that i should go.
i dont need this kinda bullshit.
period.
i may give it as long as january...perhaps.
maybe i should just leave now.
sorry meg and james, but seriously, i cant put up with it any longer.
im sure tiff or chris would love my room.
im looking for somewhere new starting now.
i knew before that i couldnt realy count on anyone, and this just reinforces that belief.
i wont live in a house where i feel like shit, and a house that because of one bitch, my "friends" begin ganging up on me...yeah, i dont need that.
so yeah, im going to start packing my shit up in the next week or so, and ill be out of all of your lives for good.

my tattoo

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 22:28:11 GMT

one more quiz

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 02:05:48 GMT

Guys Like That You're Charming

You're the girl most guys can't get out of their heads

Even if they met you on a bad hair day :-)

You just seem to "click" with everyone you meet

So even if a guy forgets about you for a second... his friends haven't!

What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

mmm yummy dragon

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 22:55:00 GMT

Your a wind Dragon! Hey, you, the smartest dragon
of the branch. You love reading and writing,
but are quite shy. Your IQ is probably sky-high
and your stories can win trophies. Your not
very good in sports, or maybe you are, and just
not inrested.. You are very wise, smart, and
kind.

What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

survey

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 20:38:16 GMT

please fill out answers and post to your lj : )

1- Whats your middle name? Catherine
2-Whats your astro sign? Gemini
3-Whats your lucky number? 3, 72
4-Windows or Mac? uhh...no comment *hides*
5-Whats your favorite color? blue
6-Are you in love? i dunno...
7-Are you a student? yes
8-Do you have a job? and what is it? yes, i work at the laundromat
9-Are you happy? ha...hahaha no
10-What song is stuck in your head right now? when im 64 by the beatles

11-What are three things about you that make you interesting? umm...i write poetry, i think im pretty smart, and i dont back down when it comes to the love for my friends
12-What is your biggest fear? bees.....well...that and being alone
13- What is your secret dream? if i told you it wouldnt be a secret...maybe to never be lonely again...meh
14-What do you want to do with your life? help people
15-Do you want children? yes

16-What are 3 things that make the person you got this quiz from cool? they are shiny, and pretty sweet, and they like video games ^_^
17-Is there a secret you want to tell someone and cant? ummm....yes...yes there is...but you didnt hear it from me : P
18-Do you feel loved? not very often
19-Whats the worst thing youve done while drunk? ummm...threw up?
20-If you could would you go back in time and change something? If yes, what? i dont think i would...cuz if i did i wouldnt be around my friends today...sigh

hmm

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 17:15:11 GMT

i wanted to post that people should listen to a couple songs : )

bwitched : our day
someday
darling violetta : spoiled and rotten
junkster : the only one
alisha's attic : i am i feel

okies...off to work

LATER!

quiz results from emode

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 00:19:03 GMT

Steady Supporter

Stand by your man — that's just something you naturally do. Once you've committed to a relationship, you are a constant companion who enjoys the comfort and stability that comes from being a couple. Not quick to judge, accuse, or think the worst, you have a lot of trust (in him and in yourself), and you rarely worry about where he is or who he's with.

For you, mutual respect is of utmost importance. You are comfortable and confident in your own skin, making you a great pillar of strength in all your relationships. Whether he's striving to climb a mountain or land a promotion, you have his back. Best part is, you know he's got yours too.

this is apparently what kind of girlfriend i am...lol
the funny part is, cept for the line bout me having confidence in myself...i think its pretty damn accurate...and the part about knowing he has my back...gah isnt that what i was just whining about in my other journal? sigh...
i hate this world so very much.

a quiz

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 22:14:49 GMT

You have been hurt. By someone who you never
expected to be hurt by. You lost their love,
and because of that, you have no life left. You
like sad, deep things, and quiet places you can
cry by yourself. You think sometimes of letting
it go. But then you ask youself why. *The
question is not why, it's why NOT.*

What Type of Vampire Are You? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

quizzes...sorry its been a while ^_~

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 03:22:55 GMT

Your inner power is Telaleqi. You have the ability
to read peoples minds, understand peoples
emotions and read them, you can always tell how
people are feeling, and you can have
conversations with people in your mind. You
tend to be mooddy and a little tempermental,
but that's not your fault...

What is your special power? (anime pics for girls!)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are innocent love. You long for someone to
spend your days with, most of all a best
friend. You do not want to rush things, and you
like marks of affection that are
"cute".

What kind of love are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I post weird poetic stuff no one understands

why is YOUR livejournal annoying?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Aura. You are calm, passive, intelligent,
and TO DAMN SKINNY! EAT SOMETHING! you are the
person to quietly ponder in the background
while everyone else is fighting for their
lives. You do not like to utilize your powers
often, making you the weakest and most
vulnerable one out of the group. However, you
are extremely compassionate, and kind, so you
eventually gain friendships of those who the
world has left rejected...You have control over
the wind, and you can teleport and douse with a
pendant

If you had a personality disorder, it would be
Avoidance, and Anorexia Nervousa (EAT
SOMETHING!) Overall, you are a very caring
person, don't ever change

If you were a story character, what would your personality be like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Spike.

Who's your male Buffy soul mate?
brought to you by Quizilla

hahahaha

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 20:10:21 GMT

apparently it is inappropriate to buy a banana and two cucumbers at wilson farms.....hahahahahahaha
cuz thats what i bought.
then catherine laughed at me cuz i was eating my cucumber, and then i brought my banana and cucumber #2 home....lol...also some sunflower seeds...hehe
hey though, i bought a massive amount of food for 2 bucks.
i need to do my school work, cuz i basically am on call for alex tonight if he cant make it or something...gah. dont want to be back there.
have to be back there at 730 am.
eww
might not sleep tonight, do homework, work tomorrow and go to bed after i get home around 430-5 tomorrow. hmm...tasty.
i should really go to rite aide and buy some gauze and some peroxide...cuz yeah papertowel and packing tape aint cutting it...(haha funny pun)
i need a cancer stick...cyall laterz ^_^

the butcher slices the day up like a pig, brutally chopping its bloody flesh

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 13:09:53 GMT

damn me. i suck.

-fall forever-

i could just rest my life with you
falling to pieces is nothing new
you make me smile through endless tears
the strength to erase all of my fears.
im dreaming so don't wake me
wherever this road takes me
i know that nothing will be severed
and i could just fall forever.
you break my habits with a touch
prescence that exudes so much
im diving through an endless spire
full of love hope and desire
you wouldnt have to be so clever
cause i could just fall forever.
and in the greyness of the years
the shadows of doubt will not appear
im holding you under wings
like truth of the soul i long to sing
throughout this worlds endeavors
i could just fall forever...
i could just fall forever.

sigh

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 00:21:27 GMT

-this distance-

this distance i feel
grows with each breath
once held
once safe
gone for longer than death.
im broken
im fragile
im falling
dear god
so save me
and catch me
and help me go on.
i feeling this gap
through souls once entwined
sleeping and tossing
you race through my mind.
im grasping at ropes a hands length away
drowning
suffocating
melting away.
i love you its simple
i thought it was anyways
im hoping that someway
youll agree anyway.
embers glow
and time stands still
im just a memory
brought to life
by you.

that dont impress me much....

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 23:07:19 GMT

so things are back on the up and up again, at least for my end of things.
communication is good, and now i am seeing the reprecussions of what happens when bridges of communication break down.
no more.
my grandmother woke up and is now home. ^_^
i accomplished a near impossible feat today...lets just say i managed to get to victor, and now im home, and yeah....hehehehehe
im too cool for words about that one ^_^ thank you stephen you saved my life...literally
i almost passed out in sign today, apparently my teacher asked me to leave the room cuz he thought i was dying, and some guy walked me to a bench...hmm...i dont really remember that part....
between that and hachee asking me out for coffee to talk some more, cuz im so "intriguing" im bout ready to die...hahaha
my professor has a thing for me...gah
i gotta go...need to be social.
laterz

attention

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 16:05:39 GMT

I NEED TO GET TO EASTVIEW TONIGHT IT IS A MATTER OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE

PLEASE PLEASE HELP

if you need details on why, call me as im not posting the reason on here. ^_^

my philosophy teacher asked me out for coffee...hmm...im creeped out.

meg, your comic inspired me to make the main character in my diner story a vampire. thank you for the much needed inspiration. HUGS

seriously tho, please someone do me the car favor, im begging you with everything ive got.....*puppy dog eyes* pweeze???????????????

side note....

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 05:32:44 GMT

look. seriously. i am sick of shit.

but there are a few things that need to be stated that were amusing, or happy today.
-i made a sign that said beware of bubbles...due to the soap abomination that materialized at the laundromat.
-i can do high kicks again!!!!!! WHEEEEE
-i made progress on my scrap book
-i changed my creative writing story theme again...and this time its going to be yummier
-meg bought me baby body wash and lotion scented like lavender
-i got to hang out with meg at jays and eat food...wheee : )
-ive become reinspired to write...its not a chore anymore
-i decided that everything ive lived up till now was just pretend. and that the only thing real is right now...which is kinda sad, but at the same time makes me feel like i have a fresh start.
-apparently my intentions are blantently obvious to everyone cept me...haha (ya know...this isnt necessarily happy...just an observation)

random quotes :
"when i fall in love, i take my time, theres no need to hurry, im not making up my mind, you can turn off the sun, but im still gonna shine" -jason mraz
"tell me lies, slap me on the face, just improvise do something really clever, that will make me your name forever" - shakira

ok...im done for the night here...you need me...well..i dont know if i care to talk to many people...hmmm meg, james, chris, eugene, jen, steph...thats about it...kk?
night all

kick ass survey from starfate : )

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 02:46:03 GMT

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on):
amber goodman

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name): slim jim sam (hahahahahaha)

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant): All Jays

4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot):
garlic canada

5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied): Cakes Rochester

6. "FLY Girl" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name): J Du

7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):
Oreo Puckerz

8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School):
Pup Brighton

9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):
Oreo Smirnoff

10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived):
Catherine Allens-Creek

11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician):
Mallowcreme Kweller

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 01:36:34 GMT

Star whats true survey
*01. kissed someone of the same sex.
*02. i've seen a therapist.
*03. i'm the youngest child.
*04. i am drawn to things associated with sadness.
05. i love my gauged earings.
06. i wear black eyeliner every day.
*07. i am extremely influenced by kindness.
*08. I love to write.
*09. i can't live without lipgloss
*10. i'm probably emotionally scarred.
11. i lived in Tahoe.
*12. i spend money I dont have.
*13. i'll be in college for over 4 years.
14. i love designer handbags.
*15. i've had a concussion before.
*16. i'm not good with confrontation.
17. i loved the Backstreet Boys (Damn..this brings back memories, right Jetta?! ^_~)
*18. i have more than a couple horrible memories.
19. i'm addicted to Degrassi.
*20. i'm spiritual but not religious.
*21. my first kiss was unexpected.
22. i start school on Jan 4th or 5th. (But my b-day is Jan 4th...)
23. i love taking pictures.
*24. i hate girls who are fake.
*25. i can be mean when I want to.
*26. when i allow myself to get close to people, i get very attached.
27. i am bisexual. (Try pansexual!)
28. i have way too many pairs of shoes.
*29. i've seen "She's All That" at least 5 times.
*30. i dress how i feel that day.
31. i love Charmed.
*32. sometimes i cry for almost no reason.
*33. i dislike when people are ridiculously late.
*34. i procrastinate.
35. winter is my favorite season.
*36. i have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
************37. i love to sleep.
*38. i wish i were smarter.
39. i believe that it is wrong to be gay.
*40. i deal with a lot of drama.
*41. no one really knows me.
42. i love my hair.
***43. i sometimes fight with my parents.
*44. i am passionate about my interests.
*45. i have had the chicken pox.
*46. i'm a hopeless romantic.
*47. i feel empty sometimes.
*48. i am/was most likely clinically depressed at a point in my life.
49. i am addicted to subway mints tea.
*50. i am very outgoing at times.
51. christmas is my favorite holiday.
*52. i can be very insecure.
53. i don't notice it, but i'm told i'm very soft spoken.
************54. i dislike ignorant people.
55. i love my macintosh computer.
56. i love chicks that play the guitar.
*57. i state the obvious.
58. i'm a happy person.
59. i'm extremely mellow.
*60. i contemplate suicide.
*61. i hate cleaning my room.
*62. i tend to get jealous.
*63. i love to play video games.
*64. i like johnny the homicidal maniac.
*65. i get more upset when i see an animal hurt than a person.
66. i'm a vegetarian/vegan.
*67. i don't like to study for tests.
*68. i am too forgiving.
*70. i have a good sense of direction.
71. i loved college.
*72. i've sang for more than 5 years.
****73. i tend to feel inadequate.
74. i love to kiss females on the forehead.
*75. i love invader zim.
76. i don't sew.
*77. i am not addicted to drugs.
78. i wear contacts.
*79. president bush is a complete and utter moron.
***80. i become stressed easily.
*81. i don't take critism well.
***82. conformity is stupid.
83. Kiera knightley is one of the sexiest women alive.
84. so is slurms mackenzie
85. i love my family.
**86. i don't mind getting shots.
****87. i am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things.
*88. i always wanted to learn to play the drums.
*89. i can be too hard on myself.
******90. i'm probably going to have/have had premarital sex.
91. i don't like my nose.
92. i am very religious.
*93. i still act like a little kid.
**********94. i am ridiculously indecisive.
95. i believe that hitler has, before, reincarnated as a small boy who got hit by an ice-cream truck after telling a black woman that she is filthy and to beware.
***************96. i love music.
*97. i'm in love.
*98. i have problems letting go of people.
*****99. i tend to think with my heart more then my head.
100. i don't really like ice cream

i wanna be sedated...nothing to do nowehere to go....

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 01:16:07 GMT

i made a spiffy cd...and it has all my happy songs on it : )
im wearing the nightgown from victoria secrets thats all silky and yummy..and mmeeep : )

all around your island theres a barracade, that keeps out the danger, and holds in the pain- tom petty "walls"

sigh...i gotta write that stupid paper...have fun loyal readers

HUGSHUGSHUGS

survey i stole from catie ^_^

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 21:13:45 GMT

three things that scare me:
1. bees
2. when my friends are really depressed
3. being alone

three people who make me laugh:
1. james and meg
2. eugene and chris
3. tiff and jen

three things i love:
1. monkeys
2. reading
3. cuddling

three things i hate:
1. stupid people
2. cleaning up after people
3. money

three things i don't understand:
1. why the world sucks so much
2. why i work my ass off and have no money
3. why guys are so oblivious to everything

three things on my desk
*i dont have a desk, but where im sitting now i have my
1. moniter
2. two red chinese dragons
3. a tv

three things i'm doing right now:
1. typing the answers to this survey
2. worrying about my laundry in the building next door
3. feeling lonely

three things i want to do before i die:
1. be happy
2. find real love
3. not have to live paycheck to paycheck

three things i can do:
1. write
2. cook
3. sing

three ways to describe my personality:
1. empathetic
2. cuddly
3. loving

three things i can't do:
1. math
2. ride a bike
3. swim

three things i think you should listen to:
1. ben kweller
2. darling violetta
3. your heart

three things i say the most:
1. dammit
2. monkey
3. mer/meow/mar

three of your absolute favourite food:
1. chinese food
2. spinach
3. bacon egg and cheese sandwiches

three things you'd like to learn:
1. japanese
2. karate
3. how to be happy

three beverages you drink regularly:
1. diet coke
2. green tea with ginseng and honey
3. water

three shows you watched when you were a kid:
1. mario brothers show
2. lost cities of gold
3. pirates of darkwater

random questions..
1. spell your name backwards: acissej enirehtac kcud
2. how did you name your blog: character in an anime
3. are you homosexual: nope

describe your:

1. wallet - large black, weighs two pounds
2. hairbrush - pink goody brand
3. toothbrush - light green burts bees tooth brush
4. jewelry worn daily - my "j" charm necklace, my cool opal ring from v and a
5. pillow cover - light purple, light blue, plaid, white, joe boxer
6. blanket - eugenes light blue fuzzy one
7. coffee cup - the ones in my cupboard?
8. sunglasses - no?
9. underwear - i dont wear underwear
10. cologne / perfume - curve
11. CD in stereo right now - mix cd #7
12. tattoos - "nymph" written in greek surrounded by yin yangs on my lower back
13. piercings - ears
14. what you are wearing now - jeans, black tank top, black poncho sweater
15. in my mouth - nothing
16. in my head - my brain
17. wishing - i was getting cuddles and hugs
18. after this - getting my laundry from the building over there
19. fetishes - no?
20. if you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what? - my dad...hes a dick
21. person you wish you could see right now - uhh...lots of people i miss
22. is next to you - nothing?
23. some of your favorite movies - fight club, wedding singer, big trouble in little china, labrynth
24. something you're looking forward to - thanksgiving break
25. the last thing you ate - a french fry
26. do you like candles - yes
27. do you like incense - yes
28. do you like the taste of blood - not really
30. do you believe in love - yes
31. do you believe in soul mates - yes
32. do you believe in love at first sight - yes
33. can you eat with chopsticks - sometimes
34. what are some of your favorite candies - Reeses peanut butter cups, and almond joys
35. what's something that you wish people would understand - that im not as normal as i sometimes pretend to be, and that i get really stressed out and snap at people sometimes, but really deep down, i love them, and im just confused because ive been hurt so many times....i just dont know how to cope with the emotion of love most days, and so i push it aside, and joke around, and just sorta gloss it over...but really...i think it frightens me...i dont like being hurt, and im going to be so sure that im not gonna get hurt the next time i admit that i love someone, that im afraid that its gonna be a while for me to admit such things...sigh...-

doo de doo

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 19:45:38 GMT

i worked today....that was umm..special. i got some more clothes...yay? i think
nothing really happened...
im thinking of vegging out and playing paper mario for a few hours, then doing some laundry...whee..
my room is sweltering hot...i cracked my one window open in hopes that it cools off some.
i dont know if i have the motivation to laundry, so i better try and do it now before i get all comfy...lol
laters!

nothing says love like numchucks ^_^

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 02:41:32 GMT

sorry showing off new icon..tehehe
i have a hoarde of icons...siogh...i need to find more uses for them, and keep rotating them...or something...but some of my icons i want always there...sigh
i have transferred 16 cds over now...and so im taking a break, i think i may go play some more mario or something...i wish someone was here and or awake, cuz i am lonely, and i want some company... *meows*

i want to fix up the smoking room, and make some cusions, and get some light in there and stuff, and make it habitable...sigh...i have dreams sometimes of actually getting stuff that i want to do done....
but i doubt these things will ever happen...sigh

i am still somewhat like i dunno restless/bouncy/cuddly/needy/huggable/tired/stressed/worried/hopeful/nervous

boys are strange creatures. *shakes head an wonders if anything will ever make sense*

hahaha partridge family song in my head ^_^

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 02:32:11 GMT

"I Think I Love You"

Ba, ba, ba, ba.
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

I'm sleeping
And right in the middle of a good dream
Like all at once I wake up
From something that keeps knockin' at my brain.
Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head
And spring up in my bed
Screaming out the words I dread:
"I think I love you!"

This morning
I woke up with this feeling
I didn't know how to deal with
And so I just decided to myself
I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it
And didn't I go and shout it
When you walked into my room.
"I think I love you!"

I think I love you.
So what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of
A love there is no cure for.

I think I love you.
Isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say
I've never felt this way.

I don't know what I'm up against.
I don't know what it's all about.
I got so much to think about.

Hey, I think I love you.
So what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of
A love there is no cure for.

I think I love you.
Isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say
I've never felt this way.

Believe me,
You really don't have to worry.
I only want to make you happy
And if you say,
"Hey, go away," I will, but I think better still,
I'd better stay around and love you.
Do you think I have a case?
Let me ask you to your face:
Do you think you love me?

I think I love you.
Oh, I think I love you.
Oh, I think I love you.
Oh, I think I love you.
Oh, I think I love you.
Oh, I think I love you.
Oh, I think I love you.
Oh, I think I love you.
Oh, I think I love you.

i wanna see your love, when im in your arms....nothing can bring me down

Sat, 16 Oct 2004 03:26:52 GMT

i feel like im going to die.
but whatever...im doing what i have to do.
do you ever feel like youre so busy living day to day life, that you have no time to live? because youre always being weighted down with chores, school,, work and homework...that you dont have time for your friends? your loves? your life?
i forget who i am.
i sometimes dont think i am anyone. sometimes i think im a figment of my own magination. im not real. because if this is what it feels like to be real, then reality isnt an actual.
i argued that we are all one entity today in philosophy. i think my teacher thinks im crazy now...whatever.
we strive to rejoin with other pieces of ourselves, that is why we form bonds, friendships and love. isnt it obvious?
i believe in soul mates, its the closest soul that comes to being you. maybe you just have everything in common, maybe you just compliment one anothers existance...but it makes you feel whole. period.
im sick of all the bullshit that surrounds me every day. i want something real.
i want to be real too.
perhaps someday.